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Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Thoughts both confusing and enlightening.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Thoughts both confusing and enlightening.

Bulletproof bird toys

elbeno, 11 May, 2005

I was just in my local pet shop because Mrs. Elbeno wanted to get a bird feeder or two. And while in the bird section, I noticed bird toys. I also noticed that they were emblazoned with “Bulletproof!” as if this were a serious selling point for bird toys.

I can think of three possible reasons for this.

a) Some people buy bird toys with the intention of attracting birds to shoot.
b) People shoot at squirrels or predators to keep them away from the bird toys.
c) Birds are so absurdly powerful and rapacious that they quickly shred any non-industrial strength material.

Scenario a) is more than a little disturbing; and besides, as Google tells me, all songbirds are protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. In addition, toys are unlikely to attract most songbirds.

Scenario b), while more understandable, could surely be solved by easier and simpler means. Again, if we assume the toy is meant for a kept bird rather than a wild one, not many people have a bird enclosure big enough that they would have a problem with vermin getting into it.

Which leaves scenario c) as the most likely answer. So kids, don't put your fingers in the parrot cage.

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Comments (2)

  1. Anonymous says:
    11 May, 2005 at 8:43 am

    (Ben B says)

    You neglect a further option:

    d) Birds Have Guns

    Being protected by a treaty is all well and good, but being protected by a plumage-concealed 9mm gives a bird the chance to look after himself.

    “You lookin' at me? I'm a Migratory Songbird, punk. Geddoutahere before I sing you a song?”

    (http://livejournal.com/users/)

  2. elbeno says:
    11 May, 2005 at 3:13 pm

    Of course! How could I forget the old joke:

    Q. What's black and dangerous and lives up trees?
    A. A crow with a machine gun.

    (http://livejournal.com/users/elbeno)

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