A wizard wheeze

1. Spend several years cultivating the image of someone who is not especially afraid of spiders and who will be perfectly happy to pick them up (with bare hands if need be) and put them outside, should any be found around the house. NB. It helps if you are actually comfortable doing this.

2. Have a sibling, friend or partner who is quite scared of spiders.

3. Buy a bag of on-the-vine tomatoes. Remove the stalk from one. Save tomato for salad, bruschetta, whatever takes your fancy. But that's not the important bit right now. That stalk looks a bit like a (quite big) spider, doesn't it? Not under close scrutiny of course, but when seen at speed or out of the corner of one's eye it could be quite convincing…

4. Just as “the mark” is entering the room, act like you have just picked something up off the floor. Cup your hands around the stalk like you would a spider.

5. Stand up and show hands (closed) to the mark. Wave hands threateningly (still closed) in general direction of the mark. Mark will become somewhat agitated, saying things like “Oi, no, take it away! Don't you dare!” etc.

6. Open hands and throw “spider” in direction of the mark. Hilarity ensues.

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